I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My breasts were aching with rage.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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