Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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