i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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