Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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