im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
