I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
