I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
