so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My ATM looks so different sober.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
