this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Sext me about skeletons
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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