you didnt know i had herpes?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize