I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
