at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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