Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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