Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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