guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
