Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
