OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
