I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
