college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
