i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
