You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I need water and some morals
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