My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
