my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
