He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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