Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
