Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
