im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
