i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
