I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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