Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
