dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
