Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
