woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
