She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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