I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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