Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
