i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
