I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Randomize
