jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
