My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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