roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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