Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
