i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As shirtless as possible
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
