so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
