I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
