Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
