Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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