it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
