How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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