I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When did angry sex become our thing?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
