I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
