Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
