I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
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what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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