my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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