Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize