arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
