Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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