She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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