I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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