I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
