Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
