doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
