I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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