i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
