i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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