jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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