My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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