But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
