If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
