You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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