Where is the hickey?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
